This morning, I stood at the window of my bedroom-turned-office and watched for a while the ribbon of red sunrise visible between the houses. I contemplated small goodbyes.  On Saturday, we will begin house hunting. Our plan (which I think I’ve mentioned) is to find some reasonably-sized, single-story place suitable for growing old. I have... Continue Reading →

Good evening, and welcome to the penultimate 500 Words Before Bedtime, Year 4. Tonight, let’s talk about hats.  I’m not a big hat person. Sock caps in winter, certainly. And one summer when I insisted on hiking daily in Pokagon State Park at the height of horsefly season, I wore an old ball cap covered in... Continue Reading →

Look, I know a lot of you are wanting to contribute to George’s GoFundMe. It’s just not set up yet.  What with him lacking opposable thumbs and Binks absolutely refusing to help, there have been some technical delays.  For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, let me catch you up... Continue Reading →

Whelp. We’ve entered the final countdown. Just three more nights to go before 500 Words Before Bedtime, Year 4 turns out the lights and goes to bed.  Before we get started with the business of the evening, I do feel the need to correct some misconceptions. After I wrote about staring at a laundry basket... Continue Reading →

You know why we’re not finishing up 500 Words Before Bedtime tomorrow? Because Sarah took three (count ‘em THREE) days off. This is both unheard of and indicative of the kind of January it’s been.  First there was the week-long sojourn to the old folks’ home. Then there was the cold I brought home from... Continue Reading →

Donald Patrick spends a lot of time in prison. So far, he keeps getting sent to the same one — the Toledo Correctional Institution, a maximum security men’s facility about 15 minutes from our house.  At least it’s close.  It all started (as most things do) at church. A guy got up during announcement time... Continue Reading →

One time, I signed up for a session at the local state park to learn how to snowshoe. I remember it being mildly disappointing. I imagined trekking off through trackless wastes to spy on caribou or something. As it turned out, seven senior citizens and I got a long lecture on the history and construction... Continue Reading →

500 Words Before Bedtime: Year 4, Day 23, Metallica, Sort of So the whole thing with the Metallica concert is that it’s not even a good story. In fact, I *barely* remember it. I’m pretty sure it happened sometime in late high school or early college — so, late 1990s — and I’m pretty sure... Continue Reading →

This afternoon, I took (gasp) a few hours of “sick time.”  This is ridiculous. Ludicrous. Unheard of. I work from home! I don’t need sick time! I can prop myself up on my couch with a laptop and a jug of vitamin C and just keep typing. Damn the viruses, full (or at least one... Continue Reading →

I don’t know if many of you know my feelings on soup. I have a lot of them, almost all negative.  “Try this wonderful chicken soup!” says someone, and I find myself eating a few chunks of chicken and carrots before setting down to the unappetizing (and frankly exhausting) task of sucking down a bowl... Continue Reading →